Daisy List is the Greatest Bucket List Ever!

 

My original intention was to release a post approximately every 1-2 weeks based on my Journey in chronological order.  However now and then I will be interrupting that order so I can release a Special Feature post.  The following post, Post 5 is such a case.  I had planned to publish it later down the road, however certain current events have convinced me that this is the time.  Please indulge me.

This little ballerina is my cousin, Lynn

 

Like a little doll on the top of a cake

If ever there was a real life Kewpie Doll, Lynn was it!

She was about 10 years younger than me, we sort of grew up together but because of the age difference we never really hung out together.  As I later found out, she did hang out a little bit with my son & daughter.

Anyway, as we grew older, I got married and moved away and saw Lynn mainly at family functions.  We’d have a minute to chat but never anything profound.

My broad description of her was that she was tiny but strong, probably more head strong than anything else.  In a nut shell, I would have to say she did what she wanted to do, went wherever she wanted to go, and said what she wanted to say, and that was how it was going to be.

I’m sure some would say that she wasn’t always “politically correct”.  However having raised a daughter myself with very similar traits, I would have to say Lynn stayed true to who she was, which was “AUTHENTIC” just like my daughter Denise.  They say what they mean and mean what they say.  No hidden phony stuff.

For those of you that knew Lynn, you already know the obstacles, hurdles and not one but several “personal tsunami’s” she endured.  I don’t have to elaborate.

But I do want to share a very small glimpse of our brief personal bonding time.

Prior to my getting Mr TAZ, when I first heard Lynn had cancer, like everyone else I felt terrible.  I felt sad and all the emotions you feel when you find out someone has this terrible disease.  I basically would ask my Aunt LuLu, Lynn’s mother, how Lynn was doing, wish her well and move on with all the demanding issues in my own life.

But once I was inducted to this “special club” myself, I began to think about Lynn more and more.  It seemed that she had been dealing with this devil far, far longer than I could remember.

One day, I “FINALLY” decided to reach out directly to Lynn and I wrote her a letter.  The very first thing I said to her was how bold faced “EMBARRESSED” I was for not reaching out to her sooner.  I wanted to say I knew what she was going through, but that would have been a lie.  At the time, I was going for chemo one day a week, every 21 days.  Lynn was going CONSTANTLY, and I do mean CONSTANTLY!  What seemed like every other day and for hours longer than I was.

While I was writing the letter I tried to imagine what she was going through, but I would have had to quadruple my experience to even come close.  All of a sudden I wanted to ball my eyes out, but I didn’t want the letter to have a Debbie downer tone.

I had been getting cards, letters, flowers and all sorts of whatnot, from friends, relatives, and even strangers, and I thought about how much those things had lifted my spirits, BIG TIME!  So I knew I had to do something for Lynn.  I just wanted her to know I was thinking of her.

I couldn’t get Lynn out of my mind, I just wanted to send her “stuff”.  Just stuff, silly stuff, maybe things that might make her laugh or at least smile.  I hounded my Aunt about ideas.  I did send her a few things, nothing special, I just wanted her to know I was thinking about her.  Every once in a while, I would call her, but by then she could barely talk on the phone.

One night after I had sent her a couple of silly letters, Lynn called me.  I told she sounded so good and she said she was good because her and Mike had just got through reading one of my silly letters.   She said they had a good laugh over the letter.  Mike was Lynn’s partner, and as the story goes, he was the Love of her life and vice versa.

We talked a while and when I got off of the phone, I couldn’t move for a long time.  I just sat there and stared out of the window.  It was dark, but I couldn’t even get up to switch a light on.  But that conversation did more for “MY” morale and well being than it could have ever done for Lynn.  Through some magic, somehow Lynn had lifted MY spirits, as opposed to me lifting hers.  To my regret, that was the last time I spoke to Lynn.

That brief conversation with Lynn helped me to better understand how important it is to reach out to people, even when it’s difficult, actually “especially” when it’s difficult.

Lynn completed her Journey here on earth on Feb 20, 2016.  I like to believe that GOD and Lynn had jointly decided that it was time for this Angel to go to her “next assignment”.

When I told my son that Lynn had passed on, he immediately sent me the following text and I’ve written it word for word.

“You know there’s family that you can’t stand and the one’s you tolerate and then there’s the one’s like Lynn that you simply adore.”

Now I want to fast forward and explain why I needed to tell you this particular story at this particular point in my Journey.

I had told Lynn just a little bit about my blog, and how I would like to do a story line on her, but we never really got a chance to talk about it in detail. So when I recently returned from Mass, and after attending  her Grandson’s 1 yr old birthday party, I felt compelled to do Lynn’s story right now.

I’ll start by introducing her small family.

Here he is, Lynn’s Grandson

Keaton Corey Gonsalves

I call him Prince Keaton – Such a handsome little Prince isn’t he

And this is Lynn’s family.

Auntie Lulu, Alex, Rickey, & Lynn at their wedding

Rickey, Keaton Alex & Auntie LuLu  2016

And this is Uncle Dickie, Lynn’s father

He’s a tough one to get to pose for pictures.  But we wanted to make sure you got to see everyone, so it took me a while, but I found a picture.

And I didn’t want to leave out the Love of her Life, Mike.  Unfortunately, this is the only picture I have of Mike as we went to press.

Mike at Keaton’s  Birthday party

These are my thoughts about this small “Tribe” and their Ballerina.

I’ve previously explained to you about my reading the Bible every night and sometimes I understand and sometimes I don’t.

Well there are passages that talk about a “good tree bearing good fruit”.  When I went back and re read these passages for the 20^th time, I finally got it and I think I understand a little more.  It became so obvious to me.

I believe Lynn’s mission, purpose and legacy, was to bear this good fruit for the rest of us.

Her son, Rickey, is just an absolute doll.  Strong, handsome, good heart, motivated, you name it.  And then thankfully, Rickey had the good sense to marry another living doll, his wife, Alex and then look at the good fruit from there, Little Prince Keaton.

Lynn at her son’s wedding

When I first saw Prince Keaton right after he was born, I knew he was special, like an old soul that had been here before.  I fell in LOVE and every time I looked at him my heart would get so so full and happy.  I thought we had this special bond or connection.  I thought it was just me, but come to find out, he makes EVERYONE feel that way when they see him, including perfect “STRANGERS”!  🙂  Just one of Life’s blessings for all of us.

Is this the cutest button you have ever seen?

He looks like he is pondering what to do next.

LIFE’S LESSONS

My reason for sharing this story, is because it has been one of my LIFE’S BETTER LESSONS.

When I returned from Mass., I happened to notice a book on my coffee table and the Proverb made me think of Lynn.

I read the Proverb, and I thought to myself, if the good Lord can do that for a caterpillar, it is beyond our earthly comprehension what he has planned for us.  No amount of imagination or insight can even remotely give us a clue into the magic that awaits us.  Our earthly mind and bodies don’t have the capacity to decipher any of that.

I’m sure we’ve all experienced loosing people we LOVE.  But when I think about it, I remember the Proverb on this book cover.  If the Lord has such a beautiful plan for a caterpillar, I challenge any one of you to even begin to imagine what he has planned for us.

It’s always those of us that are left behind that feel so much pain, but I envision and hope that Lynn has gone on “without pain” to reconnect with all of her ancestral family tribe and she’s experiencing a beautiful and joyful evolution into only the LORD knows what.

For some reason, I feel closer to Lynn now than when she was with us.  Seeing a butterfly makes me realize that Lynn’s story goes on.  Her beautiful fruit is developing as it should.  Her son Rickey has one successful barbershop business and has just acquired a second shop.

The Cutting Edge,  145 S. Main St. Carver, Mass 02330  

Rickey and Alex are raising a beautiful family and I’m sure they will continue Lynn’s Legacy as well build one of their own.  I’ll bet Lynn’s spirit is with them every day, and I can only imagine how proud she is.

Everyday I understand more and more how important that the Tribal circle is.  Not necessarily just blood relatives either.  Whatever people circle your wagon and care and reach out to you become part of your TRIBE.  Lynn has taught me a lesson in reaching out to people, not to just think about it, DO IT!

As I’ve  mentioned before, sometimes it’s just a word, a card, a silly letter, anything at all that can lift a person’s spirits.  I also mentioned how much I LOVE little people.  Well while I was dealing with my treatments, Alex was always sending me pictures of Keaton and every time I got one I would crack up.  Again laughter for me is healing, things like those little pictures were better than meds.

It took me a while to reach out to Lynn, and now I’m sorry, I HATE THE FACT THAT I WAITED SO LONG.

So now, every time I see a butterfly, I think of our Ballerina or another LOVED one that has gone onto the next phase, off into the world, doing more of the work that God had planned for them.  And I feel grateful that I can think of them in Peace.

 

 

His spirit comes right off the page

 

 

 

                  Lynn’s Legacy

In trying to close this Post, I wondered what words to use and then I remembered the beautiful poem written for Lynn by one of her best friends, Mary Ellen.  Mary Ellen was a member of Lynn’s Golden “Tribe” circle from a very, very young age.

For My Best Friend Forever – Lynn

By Mary

Rest in peace my lifelong friend

I know that we will meet again

It was hard to say a final goodbye

Endless tears fell from my eyes

Wonder why he called you home

Was it the sparkle your aura shone

You were the lovely Lynnie girl

The little ballerina doing a twirl

Your smile lit all our lives

To me you gave the best advice

Mary – Don’t push and you will see

Whatever happens was meant to be

You never experienced such joy

As when you welcomed your baby boy

My heart aches for what you will not know

Being able to see little Keaton grow

How will I get through the haze

Of missing you my remaining days

I’ll think of you in heaven above

Surrounded by the brothers you love

Rest in peace my lifelong friend

I know that we will meet again

I’ll dry the tears that I have cried

And rejoice that I got a final goodbye

Lynn & Mary Ellen